A funny thing about dating Asians is how people like to try and identify with the person they are dating and their culture especially when it is not their own. For some reason we think that it is like showing them we care about who they are. Seriously, such a myth, who they are is not their culture and if what makes up this person is entirely their culture and cultural stereotypes maybe you should take a step back and think about if it's who you are dating or what you are dating.
I remember in high school I met this older Taiwanese guy at some Asian night at a club. We started dating and he would try desperately to learn as much about Koreans and Korean culture as he could. He even went to Korean church with me. How strange is that? Another guy from College who was also Chinese attempted to learn one of my favorite Korean songs to serenade me at the Noreabong (karaoke). Did I think it was cute or romantic? Not really I thought it was kind of strange. Why would you want to identify with another Asian culture let alone any culture to make someone like you more? I didn't start dating them because I wanted to be the Borg of Queen of Koreans and assimilate them, I liked who they were at the time as individuals.
Yes there are certain things that both I and they did learn from each others cultures. Mostly it was general courtesies. Things such as a greeting on the phone and in person in their languages or little idioms so I could understand a little bit of what was going on when they were speaking natively with friends or family.
My Husband had a to learn a few things but he was not the kind of person to assimilate thankfully. He can enjoy some K-pop and respect the humor in my Korean dramas but he sure isn't singing me any songs. When we were going up to Canada with my family it was his first time to meet most of my extended family on my Dad's side. I had to school him in courtesies, nothing language related. For example always take everything with two hands, if it's not something to put two hands on put one hand under your elbow as you take it. Another big one was when you are offered a soju (Korean liquor) never drink it so an elder can see and hold it with two hands, also take it as one shot. Sipping soju makes you look weak and feminine.
He also had to master chopsticks like never before. My relatives played this little prank on him. When we were sitting for dinner at my Aunt's house she gave my husband the skinniest metal chopsticks he had ever seen, then she set down the huge plate of bone in California style galbi (korean bbq beef rib flank) in front of him. My relatives and family waited patiently for him to make the first move. He picked up those chopsticks and gingerly picked up a large piece, you could see his knuckles turn white and hand shake a little bit as he maneuvered it to his mouth. He carefully took a bite and smiled, then my family and I reached in with our hands to take the meat and eat it like a chicken leg. He just watched us a bit defeated and jipped.
From my previous experience I can say I am very thankful for my husband and that he sees me only as the person I am. He is also considerate enough to make an effort to learn courtesies to make my parents and relatives more comfortable around him without going overboard. It is key to remember the people you are dating or married as opposed to the color of their skin or accent on their tongues.
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